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| Rules of the Air |
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 This appeared in the June issue of Australian Aviation Magazine... 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous. 4. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. 5. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 6. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 7. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. 8. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the oppo- site direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 9. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you’ve made. 10. In the ongoing battle between objects made of alumi- num going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 11. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 12. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them. |
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